Flashes of Brillance
 by Madam Minerva
 
 
Aries – March 21 – April 19 – The Ram –
You need to get a haircut…you look like a chrysanthemum
 
Taurus – April 20 – May 20 – The Bull –
In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows,
 Unless, the cows are known sluts.
 
Gemini – May 21 – June 20  - The Twins -
You know what women want.  Shoes.
 
Cancer – June 21 – July 22 – The Crab -
 Hey, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
 
Leo – July 23 – August 22 – The Lion –
One, two, three, buckle your shoe…..
 
Virgo – August 23 – September 22  - The Virgin-
If you had been the Virgin Mary, you would have just said “no”
 
Libra – September 23 – October 22 – The Scales –
Eating Pork can make you stupid.
 
Scorpio – October 23 – November 21 – The Scorpion –
You’re ugly.  Not only that, you need a root canal.

Sagittarius – November 22 – December 21 – The Archer -
 There is no gravity.  Your life sucks.
 
Capricorn – December 22 – January 19 – The Sea-goat -
 So you say your wife went out for a corn beef sandwich and the
 corn beef sandwich came back but she didn’t…..
 
Aquarius – January 20 –February 18 – The Water carrier-
The town you are thinking of moving to is so dull that when the tide goes out,
it tries very hard not to come back…thinkaboutit.
 
Pisces – February 19 – March 20 – The two fish –
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

This is for all you whiners who don't take your own pictures and then complain when others don't post them right away. It's okay, really it is. I understand. It's our modern society -- we're used to getting everything we want immediately. Email. UPS. FedEx. Can you overnight that? Can we get that today?

In an ideal world, i'd post these chronologically. But take a looksee at the economy. This ain't a perfect world, peeps. So i'm doing a Time Traveler's Wife/Lost homage, and skipping around in time (based on the alphabetical order of how i named these pics.)

Walking Jena home from the Closet, i couldn't resist taking a pic of the Abbott Ho.

The fiancés! Yippee!

As this New Wave goddess at Neo proves, blondes DO have more fun!

This is from my Blue Period. Kunt realizes he's still "married" to Michael. (I kid, i kid!)

Catty and i are Franka Khan's biggest fans!

Here's the looker  showing her stuff on Broadway, with Cattrina and its new(ish) beau, Richard -- who is in DESPERATE need of a nickname!

Doug told us about a secret coffeeshop called the Blue Bottle, saying that it was mindblowingly amazing (it was) and that it was hidden away in an alley of sorts behind the building called the Old Mint.

Luckily, this was just down the street from our hotel, so we trekked over a few times.

On the first morning, as we tried to find the spot, we came across this courtyard, with all these orange chairs placed about randomly. We're not sure what their purpose was, but golly if it didn't make a kickass shot.

To cap off a delightful evening with Doug and Mara, we headed to the subway stop, down what Mara called "the dirtiest alley in San Francisco." She said there's even a song lyric that states it as such.

As we walked behind a theater company, what to our wondering eyes should appear...but a giant mask of the world with a missile rammed though its mouth?!

Of COURSE we simply HAD to put it on!

A couple of homeless-looking youth watched us and shook their heads in disgust. One said, "That's just wrong on so many levels."

We giggled and snapped photos.

Here's Duke wearing it:

Awww....that orange scarf makes me said. Duke got wasted on New Year's Year and sometime in-between dancing at Tuesday Morning (the real name of the bar is Summer's Eve or something; i can never get it right) and pushing me onto the sidewalk in a drunken stupor, supposedly to cure me of my hiccups, he lost that scurf.

I wanted to provide the side view:

But our favorite shot is of Mara wearing it:

Doug and Mara took it home -- "I guess we have to..." -- mostly because Duke and i would've freaked out if they didn't. Apparently not EVERYONE picks up crap off of the street to fill their abode, calling it "art" to make it no longer "junk."

Once you survive a tornado in Minnesota while shacking up in a cabin on Lake Minnewawa to attend a friend's wedding, you can really bond with people you've just met.

Such was the case last summer, when Duke and i flew into Mini Apple Less, and drove a couple of hours north for Shanahan's nuptuals.  Just as the tornado touched down, Doug and Mara waltz in the door of the cabin, totally clueless.

We were all, "QUICK! GET IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!" and we grabbed them and dragged them downstairs with us, where we waited out the brief storm.

That night we played Apples to Apples and roasted marshmallows over scented candles. And we've been fast friends ever since.

So, when Duke and i knew we'd be in San Fran, we knew we had to plan a night with Doug and Mara. They took us to their favorite pizza place, which was right by this adorable store.

The same company has an ice cream place across the street, where we stopped for dessert. Mmm mmm!

The boss bringing in Cricket, his blue merle minature Australian shepherd puppy with her David Bowie eyes?

SUPERCUTE!

Her taking a dump right behind my desk?

Not So Cute.

Holiday asks us how the play was, and i gush for awhile, talking about how it was a "Midwestern fairy tale" and everything was white and the actors were wearing kooky sweater-shorts-longjohns, all in white, and before the play they were greeting their friends in the audience and throwing white crepe paper on everyone like snow, and you got sprinkled as you walked in, and the staging was amazing, with clacking sticks and people blowing in bottles providing the soundtrack, and Brigid gets handed a hotdog with a bite out of it, and Rose was a stark red presence in that sea of white, and she had to go on a hero's journey, through the underworld and back again with her prize, but there's a twist to the story, and Holiday sighs and says, "Man, i wish i wasn't poor," and i nod, then notice Duke pulling out his wallet, and i say, "Gosh, i feel like i haven't paid for coffee in forever," and Duke's like, "That's cuz you're always yammering away," so i put away my wallet and continue yammering, and Penny Farthing has been unusually silent, but then she breaks out with, "That guy i was with isn't a tranny!" and of course i start blushing instantly, having totally been caught gossiping, and Penny says, "He's my missed connection," and we talk about how we all thought he was a she and that it's probably all Pause's fault, cuz that coffeeshop, which i've nicknamed Tran Central Station, gets your mind all confused with its genderbending, and Holiday's like, "I know -- and there are all these new terms you've gotta learn, like 'titty fag' and 'tranny fag' and 'tranny straight'" and of course the words "titty fag" have Duke off giggling and repeating them like a little boy -- "titty fag! titty fag!" -- and then he's pointing out that it's almost nine, which is when i am, in theory, supposed to be at work, and so we head out the door, and i'm smiling, thinking, Golly, how many coffeeshops can you start your day by talking about ice witches, trannies and titty fags?

Another favorite from the trip! (Honestly, i only have like three faves.)