Yes, fair maidens and foul monsters, it was that special time of year again. That most magical, wondrous season, when you can escape into another world, if only for a day.
Of course i’m talking about the Ren Faire. For those of you not in the know, Ren Faire stands for the Renaissance Faire, namely the Bristol Renaissance Faire, just a hop, skip and a jump over the Wisconsin border, past Great America amusement park.
A big group of us decided to go together (later learning that it was Gay Weekend), but a large group is difficult to navigate, so it was mostly Duke, Holiday and i. As per usual, i was a necromancer (assumed by everyone else to be a pirate). I’m not sure why dark magic appeals to me so much, but i’m sure it says something about my personality.
Holiday was an adorable fairy of the forest, with a flowered crochet top and rainbow wings.
Duke…well…Duke wasn’t feeling it. I watched in horror as he put on a burgundy t-shirt and jeans.
“That’s it?” i asked. “You’re not even going to make an effort?” In years past, he’s at least worn these hemp pants i bought in Southeast Asia and a tee with a monster on it. I couldn’t help but express my disappointment.
(And by “express my disappointment,” i mean guilting him into actually doing something not totes lame-o. In this case, i prodded by suggesting, “Why don’t you put on your unicorn costume?”)
The unicorn costume was obviously once worn by a child. We passed it in the alley one morning, lying there, forlornly, atop a dumpster, looking like someone had skinned that noble steed. We laughed and moved on. Not much time had passed before we looked at each other and decided we couldn’t pass up such an opportunity — Duke and i returned to the trash bin and took the costume home, trying awfully hard not to abandon it upon noticing the brown shmear on its soft white pelt. (It washed right off.)
Finally seeing the light of reason — in an appropriate metaphor for the Renaissance itself — Duke donned the unicorn costume. He had worn it once before, for Halloween, obviously having had to cut it up as an ill-fitting jacket of sorts, it being a kid’s costume, after all. It’s still utterly charming, and has been the star of the show every time he’s worn it.
All day, people were reacting strongly to the unicorn, wanting to pet him and to take his picture (or, to a lesser degree, mocking him). As many freaks and oddballs as there are at the faire, it seems that very few, if any, have come in the form of a unicorn before. People seemed as shocked to see a 30something man in a unicorn costume as they would have been to see the real McCoy.
Jeff Town looked darling, a sort of Robin Hood. You can’t tell, but he’s lifting up the loincloth of the guy in the image of Lust on the screen depicting the Seven Deadly Sins. Under the loincloth is a mirror. Discuss the symbology amongst yourselves.
The first couple of years i saw this giant jester, i was a bit freaked out. Now he’s yet another character i eagerly anticipate. I just love those skinny little legs supporting that massive frame.
There are many pubs in Bristol. This one’s the most “Dungeons & Dragons”-y (You enter a tavern at the edge of town. There are two shadowy figures sitting in the corner farthest from the fire...) and is called the Pig and Whistle. The faire itself is really quite large — and even though i’ve been there at least six times, i still am constantly getting lost. There must be a befuddlement spell cast upon the grounds.
You see many characters like the guys above — and not all of them are getting paid. For many, it’s just a passion, and they’ll happily strap on furs or lace up a leather jerkin and spend all day in the hot summer sun to play their parts.
There are also plenty of food stalls, so you spend much of the day eating and drinking. Doesn’t Holiday look sweet? Mema saw her picture and i’m pretty sure she developed a crush. When we were visiting Duke’s family recently, we’d be telling a story about Holiday, and Mema would ask, “Now, who’s that, again?” and i’d say, “The barista fairy you’re in love with,” and her eyes would twinkle and glaze over and she’d sigh contentedly and say, “She’s soooo cute…”
I loved this guy’s horns (they were soft, like a stuffed animal). I can’t remember what his name was, but i heard him being addressed by some awestruck nerds. They bowed as they passed and addressed him as Narlok the Dark Lord, or Berek the Grim, or something like that. Maybe they were his apprentices.
This was the first year that i saw draconians (dragonlike humanoids from the Dragonlance books). I’m not sure if that was the exact reference they were going for, but it shows how there’s the historical aspect, with the Queen’s court and assorted barbarians, mixed with elements of fantasy.
This fellow is a Ren Faire staple. I like his costume.
There are a few fairies hired by the faire. Their costumes and makeup are amazing, and they never speak, only flitting about or slowly moving in dance postures. Kids love playing with them.
Oh no! As we wandered around, Holiday got caught in a giant web! She failed her spot check! Who’s gonna have a fairy for dinner?
It’s the Web Witch! She used to be a menacing figure, crawling on the ground in a black robe, creating a web design and clicking tiny skulls together. She’s much less intimidating nowadays, and when she was distracted by the sight of a unicorn, we were able to free Holiday and continue on our way. Close call!
I felt this Death Eater type was a kindred spirit, but we never spoke — we just eyed each other warily as we passed by.
I shall take you down my Hall of Mythical Creatures. You see, i captured Duke as a prize. Unicorn blood has healing properties, you know. And i’m sure that horn will come in handy for something.
Some fortune tellers had captured this wicked-looking troll. He was my favorite character at the faire — he was truly frightening and all he did was growl.
Who knew Chaka Khan was into the Ren Faire?
Lady Ettie’s Me-Place is my favorite spot in Bristol. As you can see, it has ribbons hanging everywhere (much like Lady Ettie’s costume itself), and there’s interesting knickknacks hither and thither.
The unicorn grazed upon some of Lady Ettie’s magical herbs. (You have to pronounce that with the H, ’cause that’s how they did it in the Renaissance.)
I’m not sure what this giant head was all aboot (sorry, just got back from Canada). They were interacting with these two nobles in red and black.
The one on the left was beautiful. She had been frozen in place, i learned from eavesdropping, because of that philtre, which contained a poisonous potion.
The faire is made up of permanent structures that remain all year, even though they’re only used for a couple of months in the summer. Who wants to drive up there in the off-season and sneak onto the grounds?
It was Bret’s first Ren Faire, and even though he seems utterly enchanted with his ribbon earrings, i couldn’t tell if he was feeling the magic or not. He said it was a bit more of a theme park than he imagined.
