March 26, 2009

  • getting.in.touch.with.my.inner.emo

    There are songs that make me revert back to my angst-ridden adolescence. Songs that i want to play over and over. And then maybe one more time for good measure. Sufjan's "Chicago," Rilo's "Portions for Foxes." They're usually melancholic. When i was younger, i'd put songs on repeat and copy the lyrics into my journal.

    This is my latest obsession. It's a totally creepy song but also quite sweet. And it sort of fits into my view of the afterlife. I don't think there's a Heaven, and i hope there's no Hell. I've had dreams where i die -- and my soul rushes out of my body in an intense burst of energy and it zooms upward and within a nanosecond, i'm in outer space, far beyond the reaches of Earth, and i try to keep the remnants of the energy that gave my body what we call life, but it just gets too intense and my velocity only increases and then it becomes too much.......and my energy dissipates into the void. I'm not sure where it goes then, but energy never ceases to exist, so i'd like to think that it eventually gets recycled to become part of another life form. It's nice to think that perhaps we're all a conglomeration of past souls.

    "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie

    Love of mine, some day you will die
    But I'll be close behind
    I'll follow you into the dark

    No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
    Just our hands clasped so tight
    Waiting for the hint of a spark

    If Heaven and Hell decide
    That they both are satisfied
    Illuminate the NOs on their VACANCY signs

    If there's no one beside you
    When your soul embarks
    Then I'll follow you into the dark

    In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule,
    I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
    And I held my tongue as she told me, "Son,
    Fear is the heart of love"
    So I never went back

    If Heaven and Hell decide
    That they both are satisfied
    Illuminate the NOs on their VACANCY signs

    If there's no one beside you
    When your soul embarks
    Then I'll follow you into the dark

    You and me have seen everything to see
    From Bangkok to Calgary
    And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
    The time for sleep is now
    It's nothing to cry about
    'Cause we'll hold each other soon
    In the blackest of rooms

    If Heaven and Hell decide
    That they both are satisfied
    Illuminate the NOs on their VACANCY signs

    If there's no one beside you
    When your soul embarks
    Then I'll follow you into the dark
    Then I'll follow you into the dark