March 8, 2009

  • horrorscope!

    Flashes of Brillance
     by Madam Minerva
     
     
    Aries – March 21 – April 19 – The Ram –
    You need to get a haircut…you look like a chrysanthemum
     
    Taurus – April 20 – May 20 – The Bull –
    In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows,
     Unless, the cows are known sluts.
     
    Gemini – May 21 – June 20  - The Twins -
    You know what women want.  Shoes.
     
    Cancer – June 21 – July 22 – The Crab -
     Hey, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
     
    Leo – July 23 – August 22 – The Lion –
    One, two, three, buckle your shoe…..
     
    Virgo – August 23 – September 22  - The Virgin-
    If you had been the Virgin Mary, you would have just said “no”
     
    Libra – September 23 – October 22 – The Scales –
    Eating Pork can make you stupid.
     
    Scorpio – October 23 – November 21 – The Scorpion –
    You’re ugly.  Not only that, you need a root canal.

    Sagittarius – November 22 – December 21 – The Archer -
     There is no gravity.  Your life sucks.
     
    Capricorn – December 22 – January 19 – The Sea-goat -
     So you say your wife went out for a corn beef sandwich and the
     corn beef sandwich came back but she didn’t…..
     
    Aquarius – January 20 –February 18 – The Water carrier-
    The town you are thinking of moving to is so dull that when the tide goes out,
    it tries very hard not to come back…thinkaboutit.
     
    Pisces – February 19 – March 20 – The two fish –
    You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.