February 7, 2009

• Introducing...Dante!

  If you must know, his full name is Al Dante, but he's embarrassed by that -- i mean, really, what kind of name is Al for a demon from hell? -- and would appreciate it if you just called him Dante, thankyouverymuch.

  

  I had these fun stripey socks with a sword-pierced skull on them, and one of my toes poked out at Christmas, so my dad made a noble attempt at darning it. But after a couple more wears, the hole returned -- and that very same day the other sock died, too.

  Well, you can imagine my excitement. I simply can't wait for my socks to die nowadays. Spare body parts! If that's not Providence, i don't know what is.

  So i took this sign from God and made a demon. I had checked out a book from the library called Stupid Sock Creatures -- could there be a more appropriate title for my and Duke's latest fad?

  I decided i wanted to try a four-legged critter, and the coloring obviously made me want to create a demon.

  The author isn't as crystal-clear, step-by-step as the Web Goddess site i found for sock monkeys, so it took me some time to figure out how it all fit together, especially those legs. The creature in the book had these big round ears, but i wanted to make horns instead, and i elongated the body parts. Dante doesn't stand up so well (now i know why the guy recommends making stumpy legs), and i have to tilt his enourmous head over to one side to get him to balance just right. I made his eyes out of silver buttons and threw on a couple of yellow fangs. I couldn't make heads nor tails of how to make lips (the ones in the book look delightfully vaginal), so i just crumpled some inside-out sock part and sewed that on.

  In the end, i think he turned out marvelously. I brought him to work, where he scared our office doggie, sara (she blogs on twitter now and then, under the handle "tremblingdoggie"), and River, who's married to a preacherman, said, "I've certainly never heard or read about a nice, goofy demon."

  "Well, now you have!" i told her. Methinks River prefers Argmore Goyle, the sock monkey. Less blasphemous i suppose.

  

  Just look at that nimbus, though. He's downright heavenly.

  And, yes, that's a noose around his neck. Dante keeps trying to kill himself so he can go back to the flaming pits of hell. Thing is -- he's an immortal hellcat demon and can't die, the poor dear. Looks like he's stuck here for awhile.

  

  Together they would travel,
  On a boat with billowed sail.
  Wally kept a lookout perched on Dante's gigantic tail.

  Noble kings and princes
  Would bow whene'er they came.
  Pirate ships would lower their flags
  When Dante roared out his name!

  • 9:58 am
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